Thursday, December 20, 2007

Everything I need to know about the regressive right I learned in junior high

David Michael Green has written an article he calls, "Everything I need to know about the regressive right I learned in junior high." He writes:

I suspect that for most of us, these were the nightmare years of awkwardness, emotional pinball, and deep wounds over small slights. Oh, and zits, too – just in case you were somehow feeling too good about yourself on any given day.

But for those of you who have for some reason been wishing that you could return to those golden years, I’ve got news for you: You already have! That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. Courtesy of the regressive right and its Grand Old Party (and isn’t it just grand?), we’re reliving all those many joys again and again.

I was wondering how he was going to tie junior high to Republicans when I first received Green's email a few minutes ago. Let's see how it all unfolds...

But here’s the good news: Once you understand this, there’s no longer any mystery to figuring out these clowns. That’s ‘cause everything you need to know about the regressive right you already learned in junior high. For instance:

Elitism Is For Elites! What’s wrong with some people having all the goodies and most everybody else having little or none? That whole egalitarianism critique is for tenth-graders, man! When you’re in junior high, though, it all just makes perfect sense. Certain golden children were born to rule, and the rest were born to have it lauded over us, when we weren’t being laughed at, that is! You can certainly see that today in regressive policies on war and taxes, to name just two. Rich people paying taxes or Republicans going to Vietnam? Pshaw! Why do you think they keep us hoi polloi around, anyhow, other than to fight their wars and pay their tax bills?!?!

Green goes on comparing those ugly days in junior high with today's GOP. His topics include:

Personal Destruction Is Cool!
It’s A Really Scary World Out There.
Lying, Cheating, Secretiveness and Hypocrisy Will Get You What You Want.
Tantrums Will Get You What You Want.
Thinking For Yourself Is Highly Frowned Upon.
Girls Are Really, Really Scary.
It’s All About Me!

As I was reading through this essay I was thinking that this is déjà vu all over again! For the past 7 years I had the feeling that I'd been through this Bush/Cheney stuff at some other time and no wI realize that, in fact, I had! What a punishment.

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