Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Arminianism: The heresy plaguing the modern church of the 21st century.

Modern Christianity is clearly a mulligan stew- that hobo stew which consists of 'whatever else can be begged, scavenged, found or stolen.' Just look in the Yellow Pages under 'churches' and you would be amazed, perhaps baffled, at the many choices offered. A stew.

One comment I received today chided me for not knowing much of Calvinism; but then, why should I? I know that John Calvin was one of a bunch of men who decided to found a church in opposition to the Catholic Church. So did many others, the first, of course, Martin Luther. Since that heroic nailing to the cathedral door, hundreds of copy-cat churches developed across Europe, each one proclaiming that it alone held the secrets to immortal life. Like those awful pharmaceutical ads running nauseously on TV.

What great difference can there be in the interpretation of 'faith' anyhow? After all, it's really a con game based on some non-verifiable writings of zealots 20 centuries ago, is it not? Then there are those older writings, the tales of the desert-wanderers who created a god who would destroy their enemies if they supplicated themselves often enough. Generally, these tales are not fit for persons under the age of 18- like the 'R' rating of Hollywood.

Nonetheless, people identify with one of these stew-churches, like a badge of courage or a flag lapel pin, or and Ohio State sweatshirt. 'Go Bucks!' 'Go Calvin!'

I understand, upon further research on Calvin, that his nemesis was a man named Jacobus Arminius. Was he from Armenia? Just joking. So, what I get about this dueling pair of Protestants is one believed that, as God is omnipotent, He knew your destiny before you were a zygote. The other said, well, not so fast! Arminius figured out that if God already knew where you were headed at your last breath, then, what the hell would make you toe the line during your lifetime? Predestination, Calvin said. The game's been fixed.

Of course, if the' game was fixed,' then there would be no need for a church, a pastor, sermons, or the collection plate. Arminius figured out that such a scenario would lead to hedonism, humanism and humping. Bestiality too, perhaps. Those 'deadly' sins, of course. Like those barbarians or aborigines or atheists! Way too much sin [and fun].

Thus, Arminius won out, for the most part [as if we didn't already know that.] And so, we have sin and abomination and guilt. And sermons, and will the ushers pass the collection plate? The whole ball of wax.

But wait! There is salvation! Yes, you can be saved from your wicked ways and we know how! For $19.95 plus shipping and handling... Sorry, too much TV.

The title of this post, Arminianism: The heresy plaguing the modern church of the 21st century, is a piece on the website A Puritan's mind- that seems to be a narrow topic, but nonetheless, it presents a judgement of 'heresy' against Mr. Arminius. There is even a book about the heresy, The Pelagian Captivity of the Church, by Dr. C. Matthew McMahon.

Great reading material, no doubt, but just a bit too 'spicy' for my kind of stew. Who the hell cares about this doctrinal dustup anyway? And how many angels can dance on the head of a pin? I think 666.

About those hedonist atheists- are they really the trouble makers that they are purported to be? Going to hell in a hand basket, for sure! Too bad they don't go to church where they can be 'saved!'

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