Tuesday, June 2, 2009

My Unauthorized Biography

I am clearly flattered that people have begun my biography while I am on this side of the grass. Interestingly, the authors do not know me, nor have we ever spoken. I would welcome a biographical piece from family members or close friends, although to my knowledge, it remains yet unwritten.

What can one know from reading blog posts and comments? Blogging often reveals mere wisps of information about the author, ideas and fantasies which swirl around in one's head. In fact, I find that blogging customarily releases one's learned inhibitions, much as does a shot of gin or a puff on weed, neither of which I have attempted. There are as many varieties of blogs as there are authors thereof; some are crisp and interesting, while others fester in idiotic personal minutia and parochial subject matter.

Why do people choose to read a blog, this blog? Beats me all to hell. I dabble in the blogosphere much like smorgasbord-ing, tasting, rejecting, and occasionally returning. Mostly, I confess, singular visits.

When I was directed to a blog which I seldom visit any longer and found a rather personal dossier about me, I was stunned. At last check [haz-mat protected, of course] there were 19 comments under a thread dedicated to me. Isn't that special.

Did you hear the one about the three fundamentalist christian ladies who walked into a bar? Well, i can't remember the punch line but 'the exits' sticks in my mind.

I am being skewered by the Righteous Sisters, no relation to the brothers. Who knew? It's all quite hilarious- it always is when one fundamentalist christian opens her mouth, but can you imagine the comedy routine when all three are ad libbing? I never knew so much about myself until I went [nose plug] there. My sinfulness was on display, like a B-movie. I have sinned exceedingly in thought and word; I am to spend all of Eternity not being consumed by the fires around me, while the trio look down from their heavenly perch and, with a Cheshire grin,  give me the finger.

So goes life in the big city. Another day, another sinner damned to Hell.

Deo gratias.

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